From what I’ve been told, Saturday’s draw against Essendon was very exciting. I’ve heard that it was a valiant effort. I’ve heard that despite a few poor decisions in the last quarter, the game was lost by our poor usage in the first quarter. I’ve heard Duigan was stoic in defence and Murphy went up a notch.
I had to be told that because I spent most of the second half watching some good friends joined together in wedded bliss.
It’s not like the old days, despite these new phones having radio capability as well as interwebs and some sort of flux capacitor. Despite this, you can’t smuggle an earphone into one ear and listen to the call. And why? Because headphones are white now. White! Which genius thought of that? How can you expect to tuck a surreptitious earpiece in and contain your excitement as Kade bombs one on the run? It’s a conspiracy of the new-fangled technology companies in cahoots with the wedding planners I tell you. I see them sitting there at a mahogany boardroom table, scheming, while I sit in a folding chair, squirming.
So the phone burnt a hole in my pocket, but I resisted.
As we gathered on the steps afterwards, myself and an Essendon supporting snake-catcher from FishCreek (really) huddled around my phone, watching Twitter. Hardly the best way to get a sense of a footy match. Or any match.
Watching footy on a twitter feed is like watching the game through a kaleidoscope - the light infracted through a million different perspectives. The dry stats. The die hard Blues. Those pesky Bombers fans, enjoying the schaudenfreude as Kade kicks it out on the full deep in the quarter.
But watch it we did, madly refreshing every few seconds. One point up. Refresh. Three points down. Refresh. Scores level. Garlett marking 25 metres out. Refresh. Garlett plays on. Fletcher catches him. FLETCHER? Seriously? That can’t be right. Refresh. Refresh again. Scores level. Refresh. Scores level. Refresh. Scores level.
Draw.
I imagined the empty silence at the G. The absence of a club song making a noise of its own. But there was plenty of noise around me. So I tucked my phone back in my pocket and joined the crowd congratulating the happy couple, making a resolution to never to miss another game.
What lengths have you gone to to catch a Carlton game?
Ben Birchall is a writer, musician and co-hosts The Breakfasters on 3RRR in Melbourne
