Sorry we are so late this week, Digs and Bluebelles. Einstein flew to Sydney to see the Baggers take on the Shinbonners at Homebush, Canberra, Albury and other parts north of the Murray only to find that the Northerners had shifted their digs to Carrara which, apparently, is north of northern NSW. So I was bushed somewhere in Sydney and it took me a while to make my way home.
It doesn’t matter because it seemed to be that story we are hearing a bit of: “Oh Gee, the boys played really well for the first three-quarters…then they got tired…and were overrun in the last quarter. I’m proud of them though.”
Well I’m not. I’m sick of it and I’m mad as hell. We are now 2/6. In the old currency, if you were 2/6 in the Pound, it meant that you had the brains of a moron because even an idiot had a full quarter of his faculties (5/-) left to negotiate the vagaries of life. Not only did we not have our normal quota of 20 shillings in the Pound – but there is a kangaroo loose in our top paddock…
Yet they say we are playing bonza. We are kicking lots of goals. It was a “respectable loss”. You don’t have to be Einstein to know that there is no such thing as a respectable loss. It is an oxymoron and an anathema to all the men and women of Carlton on this planet and others. It is what distinguishes us from the lower life forms at all other AFL clubs.
If “the plan” is to lose every week from a winning position, we are indeed traveling extremely well. But one of the definitions of madness is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different outcome. Einstein learnt to recognise this virulent form of insanity from his 12-step program at drunks’ school.
The silly old man landed in drunks’ school while trying to solve the scientific dilemma of the half full/empty glass. To me the glass was neither half-full nor half-empty… Just full, then empty then full, then empty again ad infinitum. The method in my madness was that I kept repeating the same mistake and expecting different results. Just like Carlton.
Those of you with linguistic roots will notice that this problem is systemic to the Carlton environment. The club motto is "mens sana in corpore sano" and it refers to a "healthy mind in a healthy body". When I was a boy we thought it said “the men’s sauna is in the corporate area,” but what did we know of such things. In English, the word “sane” shares the Latin adjective “sanus” meaning healthy.
The health of both your correspondent’s mind and body were in great danger in Sydney on Saturday night when he walked into the Riverview Hotel at Balmain and suggested a switch from Fox Sports 3 (it was showing the league mobile wrestling) to Fox Sports 1 (where the Old Dark Navies ruled the roost).
After much swearing and gnashing of teeth, I was taken to a back bar where I was allowed to watch the game in silence while some young musos strutted their stuff to an audience of three drunks and the back of my head. Carlton started the second half three pints full but ended the game three pints empty.
From this perspective, it is easy to see that Carlton’s mind’s eye was not in a healthy place at that time. Sanity was restored to your correspondent a few hours later when his beloved Chelsea Blues won the FA Cup and they sang “Blue is the colour” all over London and the known world. Sanity was restored and once again I was "compos mentis" (lit. "of composed mind") and I felt very, very healthy.
Gold yamulka to Simmo again with silvers to Carraz, Blackers, Bench, Scotto and Kouta.
“Hour-late” is the go next Saturday at the Optus Dome. And don’t forget last drinks at Rhys-Jones’ pub on Saturday arvo. Carna Blues! – TERRY MAHER
Please Note: the views expressed in the above article are solely the opinion of the author and do not reflect the opinions of the Carlton Football Club or those employees of the Club. The Carlton Football Club would like to acknowledge the tireless work of those supporters who contribute to carltonfc.com.au.
